Infatuation is not true love

This week’s edition of Lovelines deals more with infatuation but we  will start with the school girls’ appreances and dressings and the inter-house.

This is due to  many comments  Lovelines receives  from people about the dressing and appearances of some of the school going girls especially at this time of inter-house school competition.

Some girls are dressing almost naked just to impress the boys and other schoolmates. It is always seen as an opportunity on the part of the students to display not only their talents in terms of sports but also a moment to expose themselves   for possible dating. However, it  has now gone beyong school boys and girls’ thing; some big men  do follow them as well. They always drive around the venue of the inter-house, loitering around immediately the game is over, looking for a girl to take home or to the guest house for a time out.

 Sometimes you see some of these men pretending as if they do not like this. However, they like this and even encourage the girls to dress in such nature as  they take them out for shopping or something of the nature. Whatever the case is, students are discouraged  from those immoral dressings and wait for their time.  

Infatuation:
Going through a book titled ‘Budding flower’ written by Jadesola Adepeju, girls and boys should know that infatuation is not true love. Hence this is what most feel for each other.

As a young girl, you must learn to conduct yourself well. Don’t drag yourself about sluggishly. Your dressing and posture whether you stand or sit is very important. If you wear a skirt or a wrapper, your knees must be together or else you stand the risk of exposing your underwear to those around you. Which is common within our girls nowadays. This is not decent. A lady should learn to comport herself well. You should be tidy and neat in every way, which does not mean to advertise your beautiful body for men to see. Maintain cleanliness as a habit.
 
Try as much as possible to be careful and stay away from infatuation. At this stage of your life, you need to watch out for an epidemic called “infatuation.” Like Jadesola Adepeju said in his ‘Budding flower’: “When I was about 14 years of age, I became infatuated with my mathematics teacher. At that time, I thought I had fallen in love. I used to daydream about the teacher a lot. Though he was not aware, I was very crazy about him. The teacher liked me too because I was leading the mathematics class, but he had no ulterior motive. I thanked God that the teacher made no move towards getting involve with me sexually because if he had, I’m sure I would have fallen for it. But I made it through that period.”

There is no young girl who will not find herself, getting infatuated at one point or the other. Most especially in this millennium where some school authorities have less control on the students when it comes to dressing and behaviours. Whatever the case may be how you handle the situation will determine whether your life would be messed up or not. Infatuation is a kind of attraction that you have towards someone of the opposite sex, which makes you think of the other person a lot. You long for that person’s attention and you greatly desire to be around that person. You become very sensitive to his voice, and you have a strangely intense affection for him. The summary of it is that you find the person irresistible.

Your imagination tends to paint him as a perfect model of a ‘prince in golden armour.’ In fact, you excuse his very obvious faults, which others complain about. It is easy to mix up infatuation with true love. But infatuation is not true love because it is usually a selfish love. True love is selfless. Some people call infatuation ‘puppy love’ and the saying goes:‘If you marry for puppy love, then you should be ready to live a dog’s life.’ One major thing that differentiates infatuation from true love is that infatuation is usually short lived, while true love lasts longer. When you are infatuated with someone, you will not be able to reason properly. You are likely to be willing to do anything for the object of your infatuation whether it is morally correct or not. When people say that love is blind, they are talking about infatuation. They mean to say that it is blind to the faults or shortcomings of the person you are infatuated with.

So think of this: are you in love because of your appearance that makes men flock around you or just because  you are interested in them? Note that your illicit dressing that intoxicates some of these guys brings infatuation. You like to stick to them but sooner or later you will be brushed off like dust on the glace shoes.


Lovelines,
There was a girl I once asked for outing. She told me that she’s in a relation. But she gets jealous each time she saw me with another girl. What should I do?
Amadou

You have to ‘rewire’ your love to her in a serious manner. She might have told you that she is in a relationship to set up her defence mechanism. So it is now left to you to break the defence if you are still interested in her. Go back to her and find out about her feelings for you. If she still says no then forget about that and continue with someone who will not say ‘I am in a relation.’ Good luck!

Lovelines
We started our love at a very tender age. Five years into our relationship he has another girlfriend and started playing double game with me. His double game does not bother me but his girlfriend always attacks me. She will stand on the road to bully and rant on me. I ignored this girl but continued the relationship. Now I am fed up because my boyfriend did not stop dating her and she did not stop her attack. However, I love the boy but I want to separate from him because of the girl. I want you to give me a piece of advice.
Jainaba

Before anything I will advise you to tell the guy to choose between you and the girl. And if he chooses to be with you but  unable to control and leave the girl, quit the relationship. Remember prevention is better than cure. It is at early age that you should cut the branches of a tree so that it will not block your way when it grows up. Remember the incident reported in the Daily Observer newspaper about 3 weeks ago, when two rivals fought for  a boyfriend.

And according to the source we heard the deceased was pregnant and the guy himself is still having a white woman somewhere. So no one is greater than life. So I emphasise that you quit the relationship if he cannot choose between you two. Quit the relationship to avoid a further and fatal attack. Good luck!

Lovelines
I am very much impressed by your last week’s Lovelines edition. However, there is a guy I like so much but I can’t tell him. Or maybe I should say I do not know how to tell him. Each time I see him at our office, I dream of him the whole day. What do you think I should do?
Zhikirat

Your problem is one of the reasons that made me wrote the story “I need you, I am falling for you.”  Use your body language. Send him the signals he might not be able to resist. Better still as an educated  girl you can invite him for a chat. Through chat one thing will surely lead to another. You can try as much as possible to call Lovelines when you read this for special guidelines since  all  cannot go on  line. Good luck!

Lovelines
I am 21, a working class lady. I am dating a man age 35. I do this because I love him. Since then things are not going fine because we are only able to meet most time less than five minutes from our time in the office. He always promise to call  which he never does, probably I am wrong or what.
Janhanbi

You are not wrong to express your feeling to someone you love. Some might think it is waywardness ‘no.’ He might have something that is bothering him that he is trying to fix out before he takes the relationship seriously. What I mean is that he might probably have a wife of which you do not know.

Secondly maybe he is into a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. Because of this he might not want to commit himself. At the same time someone might have shown interest in you that he knows about and really don’t want to be an intruder. So give me a call for more explanation and how to go about this. Good luck!

Lovelines
I love a guy but I don’t know whether he loves me or not. What can I do to know if he loves me?
MJ

What you should do is to read the past issues of Lovelines where more explanation was given on how to know if a man loves you or not. Better still try to call me for a full and more explanatory answer. Good luck!

Meaning of life

If you judge people, you have no tie to love them
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beautiful admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream realizes it.
Life is a challenge meet it
Life is a duty complete it
Life is a game, play it
Life is a promise fulfil it
Life is sorrow, overcome it
Life is a song sing  it
Life is a struggle accept it
Life is a tragedy confront it
Life is an adventure dares it
Life is luck make it
Life is too precious do not destroy it
 Life is life, fight for it
We can do no great things
Only small things with great love
It is not how much we do
But how much love we put in the doing
It is not how much we give
But how much love we put in the giving


Amie
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride. I love you because I am attracted to you the first day we ever spoke to each other where we do not meet so close that your voice in my ear was my joy. So open the gateway of your heart for me without cross-examination that you are putting me true.
L-You

Camara
This is my application for a post in your heart. My name is Miss Lover. I have masters in kisses, diploma in romance and for more information please contact your feelings. Waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.     
Awa

Lala
You are my honey and life. I really love you so much. Baby I have given  my heart to you as there is no one else but you.
Noris

NB:
Send a romantic love message to your partner via Lovelines Romantic Corner.