For Better or for Worse, Who Knows?

Christian wedding binds the couple for life with words like for better or for worse. This is completely binding and no one jokes or should down play on it. Married life for a Christian is a life long struggle thus should be made meaningful by way of respect, forgiveness and mutual love. Christian marriage is binding and as a result one man takes only one wife leaving out the others as commanded by the Holy Bible. Due to human weaknesses, many have faltered in different ways leaving room for doubt as a couple. Yet the strength in prayer gives strength to the couple concerned forge ahead. The institution of marriage comes about from simple and humble beginnings, thus going to the end of life. But do many people believe in the adage for better or for worse? Yes and no but for those who love as couple, can testify that the adage is correct and for those who have hick ups in their married life would see the adage as no good. Panorama explores the married situation with pertinent stories.

Many ardent Christians, be it Anglican, Methodist, Born Again or Pentecostal, or Catholic would love to seal their love with a blessing according to the orders of their Church in the name of Jesus. The situation is often associated with the love the two people have accumulated for the other. This is sealed by the saying, “What God has put together let no man put asunder.” With a loud shout all will answer, AMEN!

In nearly all of the Churches, the priest or pastor or prophet in - charge get the couple concerned to attend compulsory classes depending on the church they belong to. Catholics for example will attend classes for three months. And within the three months the married banns are read out in church three times for the congregation to verify if there is anything or impediment that would not let the two come together as a couple. This in itself is to avoid those married before coming to marry again or those related through blood coming to marry. This situation becomes difficult when the couple or either of them is a foreign national away from his country or their countries. The priest would write to their priests in their countries to read the banns out there and asks the priests to supply him with the relevant results if anything can make them not to marry. These are just the prior arrangements; something follows suit after this.

The wedding becomes a challenge by which time the woman becomes a yes type of angel because she would not love the action to be over turned by any little aspect of unfortunately event. May be the main wedding day is the key to letting some become stubborn be it a man or woman leaving the other utterly confused. It is often on two sides, some will rejoice to create confusion in the relationship they had so cherished. Many of the problems come as a result of mismanagement of words to the other. Some would like to show that they are right and others would love to be the boss while they read the other’s mind, making judgement pertinent and painful to the other. Some people tend to show their true colours when the knot has been tied and blessed. There is very little left in this instance for the defence from the innocent. Many will blame the innocent one among them because some make a lot of defence to show how just and blameless they are. Women are mostly able to defend and are often at the upper hand to bull dozing their male counterparts. But it is often left with the men, to show their fits and tantrum by shouting loud and punching their lazy partners. For better or for worse is not seen at this time because everyone is ready to show what he or she is capable of doing. Sweet marriages often fall prey to miscalculated utterances on the other. Also accumulated pettiness without solving it when it starts is often another factor for love’s down fall. Either of the couple would start fearing the other and absenteeism from the home starts showing, running away from the reality.

Apart from these huddles in marriage, there are some couple who have excelled through the love the proclaimed from the onset and are able to over come huddles, through their love for God, the Church and themselves. “A family that prays together lives together.” Many have made this statement the centre of their living, which has fortunately sustained their love accepting each other’s fault and shortcomings and seeing each other as one since the two shall never be two but one in everything. This is illustrated by the example of an old priest who asked a newly wedded couple to take a glass each. He turned water in them without filling them up. He said to them, “Young couple you see the glass you have in your hand, turn your water on top of the other’s. He asked the tow to separate his or her water from the other without taking the other’s water. This the whole congregation said was impossible. The couple too said it was impossible.” The priest said, as it is impossible to extract your water from the cups, so is it going to be impossible to separate you.

In the case of a couple who quarrel a lot, the old priest went ahead to counsel them. He did several times but there was no sign of loving without quarrel. One day the old priest said, “My children, come into my bed room. He took the woman’s beautiful gold wedding ring and said, this was a sign of your love for her but why do you always quarrel? I am giving you lady the ring, when you go home take this ring from your finger and hold it between your teeth as soon as you see your husband coming from work. Do not remove it from your mouth as he talks bite it harder. When he is not around you remove it but when he returns make sure you hold it tight with your teeth.” The woman was happy and said I will. After the first week there was no quarrel, the second, third, forth week came with peace. They both returned to give progress report to the priest. The priest was happy that there was no quarrel after applying his formula. He then ordered the lady to always keep quiet when the husband talks or grumbles or complaints. In talking back harshly, you discourage those who love you. Paying back to be the winner weakens your spirit and makes you terrible. Be at peace with your selves and quarrel no more. “God bless your effort,” the old priest said.

Marriage therefore is really based on “for better or for worst. Both can come at anytime, one should not quit.