I am becoming a friend

Lovelines

There is a lady that I have been nursing her love in my heart for a long time she is a course mate at the institution. I got used to her due to her constant greeting and smile whenever we meet.

I found out and know her name. As I was trying to familiarize myself with her through greeting so she is reducing her friendship greeting towards me.  I got her phone number from a friend and started chatting with her. I wanted to express my feeling to her in one of the chats but the chance did not come up but she said she would report me to her boyfriend because I am just an ordinary schoolmate to her.

The following day I called her as usual she said now I am becoming a friend this was due to an SMS text that I sent to her that I am sick. Though she didn’t call or reply to my SMS rather she said no unit on her phone.

With all our conversations plus the interest I have in her I never expressed my feeling to her directly. However, I want answers to the following: What should I do to win her love, when is the appropriate time to say I love you to her, is there any assurance of my success with her because am ready to marry her in future?

Sankung

Your problem is lack of confidence. Your weakness is turn-down-response; this makes you sceptical to open the love book.  Anyway you are a man what you should do now is to invite her out, if she agrees while at the table or on merriment open up to her.

It is either yes or no answer. But if she turns down your invitation, summon courage and waylay her after your usual greeting and express your feeling to her. Better still, you can buy her a rose flower with 11 branches (10 red and 1 white) colour. The white colour signifies you are the best for her and she is unique among others.

With a small note or lovely card inscribed in it the words I LOVE YOU.  You stand many chances to have her love card falling on your side but depends on how confidence, jovial, witty, and humorous you are. The most appropriate time to talk to a lady you are very closer with when you are short of confidence is when she is happy. So do not die in silence. Good luck!

Wedding? It can be possible

Lovelines

I’m 26 dating a girl of 23. It is five years now we have been pulling the love’s string. Now that we want to get marry, my parents said it couldn’t be possible. According to them it is our tradition that parents should choose a first wife for their first son to marry, while the rest of the wife he wish to marry later can be chosen by himself.  The worst is that the woman chose for me is member of my family. I objected to this. I only want a lady of my choice to be my dream wife, but no one else. Please help.

Biko

Well, according to what I found out it was in the past that it is deemed fit for parents to chose for their first son. But this is jet age, if you love your choice lady tell them it is only her you want let others wait until you get married to her. However, if your parents insist table it before them that you will marry two of them at the same time with condition.

That’s your parents will foot all expenses for the wedding of the two women which will be done the same day. If they do not meet your condition, let them leave you alone with the love of your heart. However, tradition stands but there are some modified traditions in which your case is part of it. If you stand on your point to marry the girl sooner or later they will let you be. Be positive and do not rude. Because it is not tradition that will take care of your wife for you but the love and respect you have for each other. Good luck!

My mother in-law hates my children and me

Lovelines

I am lucky to got married to a man I love with two blessed kids. I was so happy in this marriage before my husband travel to Europe. He asked me to stay with his family and I oblige to this. But he never told me that his family did not like me before our marriage. In brief, since he left I packed back to his family I never know any happiness.

I am going through various humiliations and provocations. My mother-in-law hates me to an extent of dislikes my two kids. I tried all I could to love and respect her and the rest of the family in order to remain in my marriage, but all to no avail. Now I am discourage and about to be frustrated. My husband only says that I should be patient because he loves his mother and sisters. He did not say any about the hatred extends to our kids by his family.

Fatou

In accordance to your husband, be patience and add more courage do not be frustrated by the act of your mother/sisters-in-law till you try to sort out things with your husband family, in-laws problem is rampant.

Especially when they did not consent to who ever their sons get married to.  So, patience is the companion of wisdom. Be patience and use your wisdom to stay with them. Now, what you should beg your husband to do for you so far he knows the limited cordial or harmony between you and his family before he deployed you back to them.

Tell him to try as much as possible to give you free chance and money to rent an apartment for you and the kids. With this you will be able to keep to yourself and take care of your kids. Secondly, to let the respect you have for his family remains.

Thirdly, this will not allowed the hatred they have in the children root deeply and become their heritance. Tell him to do this for you if he truly loves you and the kids. Let him do this for the happiness and safety living of his kids. As adult you can endure but children can’t.  However, patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet. Good luck!

He is not ready to marry

Lovelines

I am 24, this is my three years of courtship with my lover boyfriend. Still, he have not one day discuss about getting marry with me. The way both of us are going is not safe, although we are used to each other, because of his no decision, I wanted to leave him but I can’t. Advice please

Sherry

There a lot of men outside that always run when they hear the word ‘marriage.’ I will advise you to have a heart to heart discussion with your guy. So far you are ready and wanted to get marry, ask for his own decision to know if he is ready or not. Haven’t him ready for marriage, but for game alone.

Well, you have no choice than to follow your heart and make a final decision. But you should consider whatever he tells you he might have good reason for his not ready yet. So if his reason worth it then tries to be patience with him but if not takes to your heels and look for someone serious. Good luck!

My parent’s decision disturbs me

Lovelines

I am dating a man that I cherish so much each time we are not together I am always incomplete. But my parents said we will not get marry and I don’t know what to do because it is disturbing me. Help me out.

Marie

Anyway, you did not state how old this relationship is and your age. But I am taking it to be a fresh (less than a year) relation. So talk to your parents about him and his family. Check your mind if you really love him.

Another thing before you go further make sure that you know him and his family very well in order not to be a moron when your parents is trying to analyse their reason for objecting to your being in love with him. Are you welcome in his family by his parents? Does this man love you to marriage level as you do? Think of it. Good luck!

I am scared and confused

Lovelines

I am a young girl who has been asking out by a man for over a year. I am scare to date this man because my father dislikes his tribe. Though I like this man he has almost everything I needed from a man I would like to go out with. But I do not want to go into relationship with him now until I complete my education. Yet I do not want to lose him. What is the way out?

Amienata

You are having a double mind, that’s what to do and what not to do. Probably there is some outside influential that are controlling you in which you are about to subscribe to. Well, I will advice you to forget about the man as you have ambition.

This man knows that he is older than you far well but wanted to use and dump you. Beside I will like you to wait for a young guy like you, not necessary your tribe. I think your father used that as a yardstick to discourage you. So there is time for everything. Tribe or no tribe as your father said is not the issue but your education first. Good luck!

I want to marry at 31

Lovelines,

I am 29 I want to get marry at the age of 31 yet I am not in love. So how can I get someone I can date and get married to when I come of the age?

Sabally

Sin you have a target age for marriage, all you need to do is to know who you are and the type of lady you want to spend your entire life with. I advise you to keep on reading Weekend Observer, your choice will come your way. Good luck!

For my sake, he wants to divorce her

Lovelines

A friend who I take and call brother that we have being together for over 5 years got married recently. But his wife hates me, I wondered why. My brother said if she can’t cope with me he would divorce her. He really means this, but I don’t want something like this to happen. We are more than friend. I really don’t know what to do.

F-Njie

Well, your message is not detailed enough. It lacks the following that’s: if you are staying together, has your brother been dating her before you know each other, what does she hate in you and what step have you take to make friend with her?

Have you search your mind not to have offended or wronged each other in the past? Well, if you are staying together so far your brother is married, you need to give them a space and be in separate apartment. No matter how close you’re to him, let the wife enjoy her marriage and if you are not staying together still your visit to them should be seldom.

I know your brother will understand.

There are four common things that can make a woman to hate his husband friend so quickly. If you know about her past and she knows that you have a tap mouth. Secondly, if she knows that you are trying to give (marry) a woman to her husband. Thirdly, if you are a dependant on your friend and your friend allowed it to open to her.

The last but not the end of the list is if one of you two is making a dirty advancement towards each other. But if you are free of the above, the rest are history, all you need to do is to keep off from them with style. Do not be accessories to divorce so that you will not be a home breaker. Good luck!

Get marry to … or I divorce your mother!

Lovelines

There was a girl I love with my heart that I once wished to marry. Our relationship was 6-year-old when I received a shocked news from my father that I should not marry her.

He forced me to an extent of placing sanction on my mother that if I do not marry the girl he chose for me he would divorce my mother. I was left without option, I married the girl and we are together as couple.

But in September 2007 I saw this my former sweet heart I told her my love for her will never died so she said to me as well. Since then I found it difficult to forget her and concentrate on my wife because of this girl. I love her from the bottom of my heart. So what shall I do since I cannot forget her?

Shanusi

I will say you do not love her because if you do you will make your dad understand the 6-year love between two of you. You asked for what to do, your problem is an easy one, go ahead and marry the girl so that you can become a husband to a two-woman.

But if you can keep two wives at a time, then take away your mind from her since you have married.  If you really love her as you claimed, when your father placed a sanctioned on you and your mother, the best thing is to tell him to go ahead and divorce your mother because he was the one that married your mother. Beside, you have your life to live. So far you can’t take decision then and now your mind has went back to her just because you saw her.

In a nutshell I will endeavour you to forget about your former love she is now a past date. Since you are married. If you don’t you will find it very difficult to love your incumbent wife that take the bull by the horn courtesy of your father. Good luck!